


The Phone Calls

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Dialogue-Only, Friendship/Love, Leukemia, Love Confessions, M/M, My First Fanfic, Sad Ending, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 08:29:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4912414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s after “the break” and everyone is doing their own thing. The guys haven’t heard from Harry in a while but one day they each get a phone call from him - a call that leaves each of them with a new direction in their lives and an uneasy sense that something isn't right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Phone Calls

**CALL TO NIALL**

N :       Well, howdy stranger! Finally returned from the outer edges of the universe or wherever you were, then?

H:        Hi Niall. You ok?

N:        Seriously, dude. Where the fuck have you been?  This album must be shaping into the musical sensation of the century! Not a word from you for fucking ages!

H:        Sorry I haven’t been around, man. I wish it was different.

N:        Yeah, yeah. I guess you can make it up to me when we do this golf weekend you bailed on me … oh 4 months ago now, was it?

H:        Nialler –

N:        Yes, indeed it was – 4 months ago, whinging about a sore back and being too tired and then that’s the last I hear from you.

H:        Sorry Niall. I really am.

N:        It’s just not rock and roll, Harry. Not rock and roll, at all.

H:        I know. It couldn’t be helped.

N:        Like, ask yourself Harry – back in the day, what would Mick Jagger do, if he was tired? What would Fleetwood Mac do?

H:        Um… maybe a lot of cocaine?

N:        Exactly! What ever happened to battling through?

H:        Niall, my bestest buddy and all-round ray of sunshine – I am so sorry. Please forgive me?!

N:        I suppose I could be persuaded -

H:        Great –

N:        - only if I get an advance listen to this solo-masterpiece that has taken you away from all who love and hold you dear.

H:        Well, actually…about that.

N:        Is it the best thing ever, Harry? Am I going to cry when I hear it?

H:        Actually Niall, it’s not going to happen. I’m not releasing anything.

N:        Wait - what? No! Shit Harry. Really?

H:        It’s ok. It doesn’t really matter to me anymore.

N:        Is this just a freak-out? Like - a crisis of confidence? Harry – you’re good. You know it. It’ll be fine.

H:        No, no. It’s not that at all. Actually, Niall – I have all these songs I wrote and I’ve been thinking, if only someone else could sing them, you know – do them justice. And then I was trying to figure out who could do it? Who on earth do I know who sings and plays guitar, who is into the same kind of music as me, and who isn’t locked into contracts and could just hit the studio and play around with them and make them his own… who could that be, do you think?

N:        What are you doing?

H:        And then I thought to myself – wait! I know just the guy!

N:        Harry –

H:        My old buddy, Nialler! Niall’s the guy!

N:        What is going on here?

H:        So. I’m sending them over to you, kiddo. And I’ve booked studio time for you from next week. Just do it, man. Get stuck in.

N:        Harry – you’re being very weird. What are you talking about? You don’t want to go solo anymore?

H:        It’s not about that. Niall, I want _you_ to do this. For me? I really want to know you are going to try. You’ve this amazing talent, Niall, and you shine like starlight, and the fans adore you and would love to hear you do some solo stuff. I want you to be as great as I know you can be.

N:        OK, I don’t get this. Where is this all coming from?

H:        I’ve been thinking about you, Nialler. I think you don’t believe in yourself as much as the rest of us believe in you. I think you are generous and thoughtful and you never wanted to cause any hurt or conflict, and so you stepped back, a lot of the time, to give up space to the rest of us in the band. And you do it with a smile. I love you for it, kiddo. We all do. But maybe, it needs to be your turn now. I really want to you do this. - even if it’s not with these songs. I think you need to try Niall. You don’t need to keep the peace any more. It would mean so much to me to know that you are going to release your own music. It really would.

N:        Harry… I’m … I don’t know what to say. You’re giving me your songs? Like, all of them?

H:        Yep. [the smile in his voice carried through the phone line] Will you take them?

N:        I…I dunno what to say Harry.

H:        Look, just say you’ll go into the studio anyway, ok? Just give it a try? For me?

N:        I don’t… do you really want me to?

H:        I’m sure. I’m 100% sure.

N:        I’m just a bit taken aback by this Harry. What’s brought this on? Why are you doing this?

H:        You’ll know in a while, babes. But it’s all good. I think that maybe this is what was meant to happen, all along. Some things I can’t change, no one can.

N:        Mysterious.

H:        Yeah. Sorry about that.

N:        Listen, I gotta run but we’ll talk soon, ok? I’m still not sure exactly what’s going on here – this has been one of your stranger phone calls, Harry. But everything’s ok, isn’t it?

H:        Yeah. Love you. Always.

N:        Love you too, weirdo.

H:        Goodbye Niall.

 

********************

 

**CALL TO ZAYN**

Z:         Hello? Harry?

H:        Hey there, Zayn. Thanks for picking up. Wasn’t sure if you would, to be honest.

Z:         Yeah. Well, it’s a bit … unexpected alright. What’s up?

H:        I…I just wanted to get in touch with you. I should have before. It’s been too long. I guess, we left it too long and then it got strange, I suppose … and then… well, anyway. How are you? You good?

Z:         Yeah, I’m good. How about you?

H:        I… Listen Z, I know this is a bit out of the blue and everything, but I really just wanted to say I’m so sorry about what happened between us, between us all. I’ve missed you. I really regret this … distance… I think you’re great, really, and anyway, I just want you to know that.

Z:         Oh. Right. Thanks.

H:        Sorry. This is a bit weird.

Z:         Little bit, yeah.

H:        Is it ok, though? Me calling?

Z:         Harry. Yeah, of course it’s ok. It’s good. It’s good to hear your voice, man.

H:        I just… I’ve been thinking lately, and I was really worried you might think I was angry with you. I mean, I guess I was for a while, but things have changed – with me – like, in my mind, about a lot of stuff, and I think I was wrong about some things, and I just want you to know that. And I want you to know - I’m sorry and I love you and … well, that’s it, really.

Z:         Oh. OK.

H:        Like, I get it now - why you cut away from us. You were unhappy and stressed out for so long and we knew it but we just wanted you to ignore all that and pretend to be ok, to just get on with everything, like we were all doing. I guess we didn’t realise… We were just kids Zayn –

Z:         It was just 18 months ago, Harry.

H:        Yeah. Wow. A year and a half. God. It feels …

Z:         I know.

H:        I just want you to know Z – that I’m sorry – the way it all went. We were all angry… and then we didn’t talk … and then there was all the twitter stuff … I wish it didn’t happen the way it did. I’m sorry about it, really. I think, well, I think now that you were probably right all along, you know? Not to compromise anymore, not to waste time settling, being miserable for the sake of working out some stupid contract - like we even needed the money, right? I think we all just reckoned on there being lots of time, that we had all the time in the world…

Z:         I tried to tell you guys, you know, before. It never seemed like you wanted to hear it.

H:        I know. I didn’t get it then. It felt like we had forever to do the stuff that mattered. It seemed important back then to play by the rules, not to let anyone down.

Z:         Harry … [he takes a deep breath. When he speaks again his voice is softer, any hostility faded into a rough whisper.] I know I let all you guys down  -

H:        No – that’s what I’m saying - I realise now that you didn’t. You were showing us – me – how to do what matters. I, I really admire you Z. It wasn’t easy what you did. You followed your heart. It was brave. I think that … well, I wish I had been braver in my life.

 Z:        You are brave Harry. You’re brave enough to be kind. You think of everyone else. And everyone loves you for it. And, listen kid, thank you. Seriously. I really appreciate you calling and saying all this. I, I guess I was worried you guys still kinda hate me.

H:        No, babes. Never. You’re my brother. We’ve been through it all together. I love you. I always have. Never doubt that, ok?

Z:         Shit, H. You trying to make me cry here? Fuck this – when you gonna come out here and hang out with me, man? You hear the new stuff? You gotta come to the studio with me – you have to get to know some of these musos I’ve met, H. It’s been sick! You’re coming over, right?

H:        I’d love to Zayn. Don’t think I can make it happen anytime soon, though. I’m sorry.

Z:         Right. That’s ok. Your own stuff must be almost ready for release now, yeah? They’re saying you’ve gone to ground to work on it.

H:        I … I was involved with something, yeah. But Zayn, can I just ask you one thing?

Z:         Sure.

H:        Will you try to make it up with the other lads?

Z:         It’s not like it’s just up to me, Harry.

H:        I know, I know. I’m just asking ‘cos – well, I’m worried about you, a little bit Z. About how many bridges are burning behind you.

Z:         Listen Harry. I’m glad you called and that, but don’t think it gives you the right to tell me what to do - 

H:        [There something almost broken-sounding in Harry’s voice when he speaks again. A sorrow – almost a desperation - that cuts through Zayn’s anger and silences him]. Please Zayn, don’t get mad at me. I have to say this to you because I love you. I mean it. And I know, I KNOW. I get it, I really do. I know you lash out when you get scared, when you feel people aren’t accepting the real you, when they’re trying to force you to be something that benefits them and isn’t true for you. I know it scares the shit out of you, and you fight back and you cut them from your life. But please Zayn – you need people around you who know you and really care about you.

Z:         Is this about Perrie? Did she call you? Is that why you called me?

H:        No. No, I haven’t spoken to her, and this isn’t about that. Well, maybe a bit – I don’t know. I just – it’s just… Zayn – I think it’s only when something big happens you realise that having people in your life who love you - it’s such a precious thing, and … well, we have to be careful with it. We can’t let it slip away through our fingers. You and me and the boys – like, what a crazy time we had! We need to be there for each other, like we used to be. No one knows what it was all like, in the eye of that hurricane, except us.

Z:         Yeah. I know.

H:        We know things about each other no one else ever will.

Z:         [chuckling] So, is this a blackmail call, now?

H:        [softly laughing now too] Might be – unless you do what I’m asking. Remember what went down in that nightclub in Manilla?

Z:         Are you kidding me? We swore never to mention that again, Harry!

H:        So, you are going to get in touch with the boys, or what?

Z:         Shit, ok, ok! Just drop Manilla, ok?

H:        It’s a deal. Listen, I have to go now. I’m so glad we talked Z. I’m so proud of you and I love you like crazy, I mean it.

Z:         Yeah. Thanks Harry. I’m happy you called too. Although, this has been kinda heavy, dude! Next time we’re getting high and watching cartoons, ok?

H:        Alright. Next time you dig out a Power Rangers episode, I’m gonna be there at your shoulder, cheering on all the dudes who are brave, like you.

Z:         Gonna hold you to it, kid.

H:        Promise.

Z:         Bye Harry. And thanks. Love you, kid.

H:        I love you. Goodbye Zayn.

 

*********************

**CALL TO LIAM**

L:         Harry! Long time, no hear! What’s up man?

H:        Hello Liam, how are you?

L:         I’m good. Really good! Actually, I’m glad you called – I have some news.

H:        Yeah?

L:         Yeah! I’m so excited!

H:        Well – spill it then.

L:         You know Sophia?

H:        Yes, Liam. I think I remember her, alright. Let me guess - you’re engaged!

L:         Wha’? Well, yeah. But that’s not it.

H:        Really? Wow – congratulations, man! I mean, hopefully you sound a bit more enthusiastic about it when she is around but…

L:         No, no, I’m crazy excited Harry! But there’s more. It’s the best news ever dude! We’re having a baby!

H:        [Liam hears the catch in Harry’s throat, and when he speaks, he is choked with emotion]. Liam. Really? Wow. That’s … 

L:         I know! I’m like actually losing my mind here! I just found out. You are literally now the only person who knows, apart from me and Soph! Can you believe it? Like, seriously?! A baby?!

H:        I’m so, so happy for you both, Liam. This is such good news.

L:         I think I’m not supposed to tell anyone yet, but I can’t keep it in so don’t judge me. Wow – and you just called, H! Out of the blue! It’s amazing, isn’t it?

H:        It’s so good, Liam. Daddy Direction – you are officially earning the title at last!

L:         Yeah. Wow. I actually can’t breath right.

H:        You’re going to be fine. You are going to be such a good Dad.

L:         You think? I hope so. I really want to be. I mean – this baby is going to be so loved.

H:        Of course!

L:         They’re going to have us, all of us – me and Sophia, and all the aunties, and grandparents – and then you lot, their crazy bunch of nutso uncles to have fun with.

             [Liam hears Harry take a breath, as if he is about to speak, but nothing comes].

L:         And of course, they’ll have little Alex now, to play with when we visit L.A.

H:        Yeah. [Harry is still quiet. Eventually he speaks again.] Have you seen her?

L:         Just on Skype and pictures and stuff. She’s so cute.

H:        Yeah. I saw pictures. She looks just like Louis.

L:         She’s way cuter than Louis, sorry Harry!

H:        Have, um, have you talked to him recently?

L:         Yeah. A few days ago. He’s besotted.

H:        Yeah?

L:         It seems to be all good with Brianna too. They’re working it out - staying friends, getting into a routine.

H:        Good. That’s good.

L:         So, you getting broody yet, kid?

H:        Don’t reckon that’s going to happen, sorry Liam.

L:         Well, it’ll be great when it does, H. You will make an amazing father, when the time’s right.

H:        [Liam hears that strange catch in Harry’s breathing again, and it seems to be a long time before he speaks again, and when he does, his voice seems far away.] That’s a nice thing for you to say, thank you Liam. So, when is Sophia due?

L:         We reckon she’s about 10 weeks gone, so August, I guess. We have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow – kinda leaving it up to them to do the math! God. Harry! I’m just… wow!

H:        Liam, you have no idea how glad I called you – right now when you are too excited to keep your news a secret. I’m so happy to know. Thank you for sharing your happiness with me. It means so much to me, it means everything to me.

L:         I’m so happy you called now, too.

H:        I love you, bro.

L:         Love you too. Um… so why did you?

H:        What?

L:         Oh sorry, just – was there a reason you called? I kinda didn’t give you a chance to talk! Everything ok? I mean, not that you need a reason to call …

H:        Oh, it doesn’t matter - you have enough in your head at the moment.

L:         No seriously. I’m breathing ok again now. I’m OK. [He breaths in and out deeply twice – proving his point]. OK. Seriously. I’m good. Shoot. What’s going on with you?

H:        No, it doesn’t matter. I was just going to ask you about that charitable foundation you set up.

L:         Oh yeah?

H:        It’s ok. I was just going to ask about doing the something similar. There’s all this money, and I need it to do some good when I’m … well, I want to set things up so it can reach people who need the most help. But, I guess now is not the time for you. I can talk to Mum about it, and the lawyers.

L:         That’s great, Harry. No – of course I’ll help with it. Whatever you need.

H:        Really?

L:         Are you kidding? I’d be honoured.

H:        Thanks Liam. I appreciate it.

L:         No problem. I guess it’s not about us anymore. We’ve got these little people to think about now - leaving the world in a better place for them.

H:        That’s what we’re here to do. You always knew that, didn’t you? Will you tell Sophia congratulations for me?

L:         Yeah, absolutely. Thanks Harry. I love you, mate. This is the most amazing day of my life.

H:        I’m so happy for you guys. I love you too, I really do. Goodbye Liam.

 

*************************

**CALL TO ANNE**

A:        Hi baby, how is it going?

H:        Hi mum. It’s OK. Only Louis left to call now.

A:        And you didn’t tell any of them?

H:        No – I haven’t changed my mind. I don’t want them to know.

A:        Baby, I still think this is a mistake. I think they would prefer to know, to be with you now. I think it’ll be harder for them, after…

H:        But can’t this be my choice, Mum? There is so much I’ve lost control over – I just want this little piece left to me. I don’t want them here when I’m like this. I want them to remember me from before.

A:        I don’t want to argue with you, honey. I respect your wishes on this, I do. I’m sorry. Let’s not go over it again. How is it today?

H:        It’s not too bad – just a 5 with the pain. I’m just so tired. I need to finish this though. I just need to get through this last call.

A:        I’m on my way back from Gemma’s now – I guess I’ll be another 40 minutes or so. Is that enough time?

H:        Should be. Thank you, Mum. I’ll probably have crashed by the time you get here… Mum?

A:        Yes, sweetheart?

H:        Liam and Sophia are having a baby.

A:        Oh … oh honey.

H:        Liam said he thought I’d make a good father one day.

A:        You would, too, baby.

H:        I’m sorry, Mum. I’m so sorry …

A:        Shush, sweetheart. Talk to Louis, and then rest. I’ll be there when you wake up.

H:        Thanks. I love you.

A:        Love you too baby-boy.

******************************

**CALL TO LOUIS**

L:         Well, well, if it isn’t Mr Styles! What an honour, indeed!

H:        Hey Louis, how are you?

L:         Well, I reckon I’m better than you by the sounds of things? What’s with the croaky voice? Up all night again? Too much partying, young Harold?

H:        You guessed it!

L:         Tut, tut. You, young folk nowadays! No sense of decorum. Ah, it brings back memories of my own youth, Harold. Back before the responsibilities of parenthood weighed me down.

H:        So, you mean, 8 months ago, then?

L:         Um, well, actually more like 5 nights ago, but hey, who is keeping track?

H:        So, how is she?

L:         Spectacular. Beautiful. Remarkable. Highly advanced. Superior in every aspect of her being.

H:        Of course.

L:         Of course. You got the pictures?

H:        Been gazing at them ever since. She’s gorgeous.

L:         She’s napping now – but get on Facetime and I’ll sneak you in to see her. I want her to see your curls – she’ll probably laugh.

H:        [Harry couldn’t help running his hand over his bald scalp – never able to get used to the weird feelling.] Sorry. I’m not at home and the wifi here is crap, so …

L:         Yeah… And the camera on your phone is broken so we can’t Skype, and you’re on a deadline with the album so you can’t visit.

H:        I’m sorry, Louis.

L:         Whatever.

H:        I really am.

L:         OK.

H:        Please don’t be annoyed with me. I would be there if I could, really Lou.

L:         Alex is the most important thing that has ever happened in my life, Harry.

H:        I know.

L:         And you aren’t here. I … I just …

H:        I’m sorry.

L:         I tell her about you.

H:        You do? What do you tell her?

L:         I tell her there’s a curly-headed monster who lives across the ocean and who used to be friends with her Daddy years ago, but then he got too big for his sparkly boots and gave up his friends for his solo career.

H:        You don’t say that, do you?

L:         [Huge sigh] No. No, I don’t. Sometimes I want to but I suppose little babies should be spared from harshness of reality sometimes.

H:        But you don’t think that, do you? I’m so sorry, Louis.

L:         Stop saying you’re sorry. Fuck it. It’s ok H. I got my baby girl. That’s all that matters, now.

H:        I do want you to tell her about me, though. Will you?

L:         Yeah, I guess.

H:        Will you tell her how happy I was when she was born, and how it made my heart skip a beat when I saw how much she looks like her Daddy?

L:         I… um. If you want.

H:        Tell her that. And then… tell her how her Daddy’s best friend loved him with every inch of his being, from the very bottom of his sparkly boots right up to the curls on his head, and never stopped loving him, no matter how weird things got between them, or how much pressure they were under, no matter how much all the crazy scrutiny affected them. Tell about all the fun they used to have, and all the trouble they got into, and how they spun around the world together for five years, so fast they got dizzy sometimes.  Tell her how everyone who saw how they acted when they were together thought that they were in love, because they were so close and happy and just shone at each other like suns, and tell her that the people made up a silly name for them, and  -

L:         Harry… stop a second.

H:        - and that all the focus on them made them afraid, and maybe a bit ashamed, or self-conscious or something, even though there was nothing to be ashamed of. And it made them hide some parts of themselves from each other, and maybe from their own hearts. And how, despite what everyone thought, nothing ever really happened between them, apart from one night, when they alone together under the stars and no one else was around, and there was one kiss, the most beautiful kiss that, the next day, they pretended never happened because, because… why Louis? I don’t know why?! And then they slowly drifted apart from each other and things went wrong, somehow, and there was a time for a while after, when they barely talked to each other at all.

L:         Don’t -

H:        And it was quite sad, really. Because then there were all these years wasted when they could have had something magical, but at the time, it didn’t seem to matter, because they were always so busy, and it always seemed like there’d be more time after, time to figure it out. And just when it was all looking like it would be ok because they started to be friends again … but, but… No. No - the most important thing to tell her is, Louis, tell her that no matter what, throughout it all, her Daddy was really, truly loved. Tell her that all I hope for her, from the bottom of my heart, is that one day she’ll find someone who can love her that much, and that she can feel that love in her heart for someone too.

L:         Harry. [Louis’ voice sounded as broken and wrecked as Harry’s now] Please stop. Why are you saying this? Why does are you making it sound like something is finishing, like it’s over?

H:        Will you tell her all that? Please.

[They’re both sobbing now, shaky breaths clouding onto the phone mouthpieces.]

L:         Yes, baby, I can tell her. Haz, please, what’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong?

H:        Everything is ok, Louis. [Harry’s voice has faded to a whisper. Louis is pressing his phone so hard to his ear it hurts, in an effort to hear him, not to miss a word.]  It is what it is, remember? I love you. That’s all. I need you to know that. It’s you. It’s always been you, only you. And I’ll love you forever.

L:         I’m coming over. I’m coming to see you.

H:        No babe, don’t. Alex needs you now, you need to stay with her. It’s ok. Everything is ok. I’m just a bit tired now. I need to go, sweetie. I love you, OK? Promise you’ll always remember that I love you.

L:         Harry…

H:        I have to say goodbye now, Louis.

L:         Harry…

H:        Goodbye, love.

++++

 

**Epilogue**

Liam moved to reach an arm around Louis, gently pulling him back from where he stood at the edge of the grave. The other mourners had all moved away a long time ago, final goodbyes carried away in the cold February breeze.

“C’mon Lou. It’s time. Let’s go home.”

He glanced over his shoulder where Sophia and Brianna were waiting, Alex wriggling in her mother’s arms, reaching for her father. Niall stood close to them, head bowed, tears streaming down his face and Zayn was at Louis’ other shoulder, grasping tightly at his arm, eyes shut tight.

Finally, Louis gently released the rose he had held in a white-knuckled grasp throughout the service. It fell onto the exposed earth, a splash of crimson on the dark, hard ground. His friends gathered around and they moved as one, Louis’ whisper an echo of the words carved in stone in front of them.

**_Harry Styles. Always in our hearts._ **

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if the formatting makes this hard to read. Hope it is ok! I would love any comments or suggestions on how to improve.


End file.
